6 questions to go from “I don’t want that experience” to “I can look forward to it”
6 Questions to go from “I DON’T WANT THAT EXPERIENCE” to “I CAN LOOK FORWARD TO IT”
Have you ever had those clients who turn up and say “I’m anxious and I’m having intrusive thoughts and I have to get rid of them” OR “You have to help me get rid of my cravings for cigarettes or junk food?”
In these sorts of cases I believe the clients’ perceived solution of having to get rid of something may be keeping them trapped. Think about it this way. If my 7 year old walked into my bedroom screaming, “Daddy, daddy… there’s a monster under my bed”, how effectively would it reassure him if I replied, “there’s no monster, BUT you whatever you do, DON’T look it in the eyes”. This response would simply add credibility to the notion that there really was a monster and would likely freak him out further.
Increasingly in my work, I use something that I refer to as the ‘willingness ladder’. This is a series of 6 questions and frames that are designed to help people discover they don’t have to get rid of thoughts in order to experience relief. And, interestingly, when they truly stop trying to get rid of those thoughts they tend not to appear as much either. Everyone’s a winner!
I want to share these 6 questions with you!
Howard Cooper is known for helping people create RAPID shifts in their thinking and over the last 20 years he has worked with 1000s of individuals. He rejects the notion that deep & lasting change has to take a long time and, over the years he's seen some incredible transformations. He has worked on 'Virgin Atlantic’s Flying Without Fear' course, writes magazine columns, talks about change on LBC and even hosts his own podcast (Rapid Change Matters) to name a few. All this has gone into the “melting pot” that is Howard’s experience which he is now keen to share with others in the business.