The Toxicity of Forgiveness

Indifference as a Therapeutic Solution

Forgiveness is often promoted as a necessary step in healing, yet for many trauma survivors it can feel coercive, invalidating, and unsafe. Encouraging clients to forgive may keep them emotionally tethered to their abuser, reinforcing shame and preserving harmful power dynamics. In some cases, forgiveness becomes a moral obligation imposed by therapists, spiritual traditions, or self-help culture, rather than a genuine client-led outcome.

This one-hour talk challenges the assumption that forgiveness is required for recovery and introduces therapeutic indifference as an alternative clinical goal. Indifference is not denial, dissociation, or emotional numbing; it is the state in which the perpetrator no longer holds emotional or psychological charge. Rather than reconciling with what happened, clients are guided toward autonomy, emotional sovereignty, and genuine freedom from the trauma bond.

Attendees will explore how forgiveness narratives can retraumatise survivors, reinforce self-blame, and maintain the abuser’s psychological influence. The session presents a trauma-informed framework for working with clients who cannot, will not, or should not forgive, including clinical language for reframing healing goals and ethical considerations in trauma therapy. A brief therapeutic protocol for cultivating indifference will be outlined, with a short demonstration to illustrate practical application.

Kaz Riley is an award-winning clinical hypnotherapist, author, trainer, and educator specialising in sexual wellbeing, desire, and mind–body connection. She teaches therapists how to work confidently and ethically with sexual health concerns using evidence-informed hypnosis frameworks and practical clinical protocols. Kaz is the founder of Sexual Freedom Hypnosis and delivers training internationally for hypnotherapists and therapeutic professionals. Her work integrates biopsychosocial models, neuroscience-informed practice, and experiential hypnosis techniques to support confidence, intimacy, and embodied presence.